How can I?

A couple of months ago I joined a local Toast Masters Club to improve my public speaking skills.

Last night, I did my icebreaker speech (an intro to who I am), where I shared a little about the abuse I encountered as a child and why I see it as a blessing. Later, much later, in the early hours of this morning, with a Johnnie Walker in hand, a friend who was my guest at the club, asked me “how?” “how do you draw on your past in a positive way and get over it as you have?”

As simple a question as that might sound, and as important for me to know the answer, being a life coach… the truth is, I didn’t actually know “how?”.

So, here’s my answer to her.

Having a past that is tragic or challenging in some way isn’t what I draw on, in order to be positive. In fact, I don’t see why anyone would want to that. Many people draw on their challenging past everyday, and they are miserable in their lives.

Instead, I look for inspiration elsewhere. And I found mine in POP wisdom.

• Intelligence is defined by a person’s ability to learn. I may, or may not have been slow on the uptake, but I did learn eventually.
• Growth comes from experience. And I can honestly tell you that “I’ve been there”
• Insight comes from thinking outside our boundaries of comfort. I spent most of my life so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to find insights.
• And since insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result, sanity must be defined by our ability to adapt and make new mistakes. Believe me when I say, I was really creative in the mistakes I made in my life. So I must be sane, I think!

I even developed the theory of the “PDI or Personal Development Index” to prove that life challenges are a good thing. But I’ll explain that some other time.

So not only was I absorbing all these lessons from POP wisdom, I was coming up with my own thesis on personal development which made feel really good about having had such a challenging upbringing.

I have grown up (in the loose sense of the word) to like who I am as a person. I enjoy my own company. I am proud of the person I turned out to be.

And since I couldn’t be the person I am today, having not lived the life I had, the answer to my friend’s question isn’t an answer at all… it’s a question.

She asked me “How can I draw on my past in a positive way? And get over it as I have?” the reply is “How can I not?”

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