Wednesday, January 28, 2009

God has a vagina

Manipulation is art, mastered by the “fairer sex” (a queen among oxymora). To learn how to get your way, stand in the supermarket and watch 4 year old girls get what they want, on a trip through the candy isle with dear old daddy. The tone of voice, puppy eyes and, as incestuous as it sounds, even the seductive body language.

The inherent physical weakness of “women kind” (a pun, ironic and intended) has lead to the evolution of manipulation. I often wondered if women simply allow men the illusion of dominance, or if they deliberately inject men with delusions of power, just as God occupies the masses with a misguided sense of faith.

See if this sounds familiar. She loves man, but she will make his life a living hell if he angers her. She asks only that man works for the betterment of himself, but if this better man strays from her, then he’s a sinner. She demands nothing from man but she’ll expect everything. Monotheistic, she accepts no competition. She wants his money. She owns his soul... All this, because she loves him.

“She” can be God or Eve. In fact they are one and the same. That is true manipulation.

I shall be castrated for this view and she will give me the look that “shrivels me testis” but before she does, let me say this...

She is wise my friends, observe her, and learn from her, for only she knows the ways of real influence, control and string puppetry. And that’s why I love her.

It takes the average poker player a number of years to master the art of recognising a “tell”, yet Eve will know Adam’s lies before they even depart his lips. It is called in-tuition because every encounter with Eve is a learning experience. Except that poor primordial Adam has never learned.

Well, I have seen the light. I believe and worship thy. Take me to heaven, and save me from Satan that pollutes my ego with the darkness of grandeur and the sin of pride.

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